Ghosts of the Past
by Lossepaste
Summary: Love story involving T.K. and ???. Can't tell ya who w/ out giving something away. Starts out sad and angsty, but gets better. This is the long awaited closure for my story


                           ***Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or any of it's characters(duh)

                           ***Well, here it is, the first part of the long anticipated sequel of I still believe.  This story stands alright on it's own, but it's a lot better if u read I Still Believe which I also have posted.  It really sets the mood and I've gotten great reviews so I suggest reading it.  He was about 16 in  "I Still Believe", 19 in that first little part w/ the dream, and 21 for the rest of the story.  Any way, sorry it took so long for those of you waiting for it, but I hope you like it.

Ghosts of the Past Part One 

Takeru Takashi tossed and turned, tangling himself in his blankets.  He saw the blurred images of faces, newspaper clippings, and heard fuzzy segments of the news reports of the tragic plain crash.  He saw himself running his hand along the closed casket, watched one single tear fall from his cheek and land gently on the smooth brown wood.  The blinding pain of grief seared through his soul as darkness surrounded him…

         He woke with a start, feeling the tickle of what he thought was a tear, but was nothing more than a bead of the cold sweat his nightmares had induced.  He wiped the back of his hand across his forehead and pulled himself out of his disarranged sheets.  He thought about getting a glass of water, but just didn't have the will power to stand, so he just stayed where he was, staring into the darkness.  Though he would have gladly welcomed the unconscious state of sleep, he was afraid of the dreams it would bring with it.

         Although it had been almost a month since he received the bad news and suffered through a second funeral, he remembered it as if it were yesterday.  He remembered hearing the phone ring and answering it to hear the voice of Taichi Kamiya on the other end, quivering as if he were struggling not to cry.  He then spoke the words that T.K. had been dreading most for the past three years, when the accident first happened:  "They found her body".  T.K. died that night, and he would never again be the same.

         A week later her second funeral was held, which he didn't feel up to attending, but he would've regretted it the rest of his life if he hadn't paid his last respects.  Her original coffin was exhumed so her real remains could be buried properly.  It was a closed casket viewing and funeral; the mortician said it was a little too gruesome for everyone to see.  It killed him that he couldn't have one last look at her.

         He remembered wanting to open her coffin when he walked past, wanting to let her light shine out again, wanting to release it from that little box.  But he knew that would've been useless, her light had been extinguished, lost forever in an endless, dark void.  _I will never love another_, he vowed silently as he walked away from his one true love. 

He slid down under the covers and rested his head on his pillow.  Finally, sleep came to him, and to his relief, it was uninterrupted by visions of the past.

                  *                 *                 *                 *                 *

Two Years Later 

         T.K. stood up after placing flowers on the ground in front of a head stone that read "Hikari Kamiya".  It was the two-year anniversary of her death, or at least her funeral.  Surprisingly enough, it had been five years since she first disappeared.  He couldn't believe it had been that long.  He turned to leave, allowing his older brother Yamato to place his arm around him.

         It was T.K.'s first trip back to Odaiba since the funeral.  It was nice to be back in his hometown, surrounded by friends and family, but still much more difficult than he had anticipated.  Sometimes it seemed like nothing had ever happened, that he had never left, that he had never lost her, but at other times, he felt alienated, like he didn't belong here anymore.

"You gonna be ok?", Matt asked gently.

         T.K. looked up to see a countenance of genuine concern on Matt's face.  "Well, all things considered, yeah, I guess so."

         "Mom's making a big dinner and the whole gang's coming over.  Think you're up to it?"

         "Yeah, I think I can handle it, just as long as nobody fawns over me or looks at me with that "It's such a shame" look.  Besides, if I don't, everybody worries about me and starts thinking I should go back to counseling."

         Matt smiled and said, "We better get going then, we don't wanna be late.  And Mom and Dad actually look like they're enjoying each other's company, so we should hurry and enjoy it while we can."  The two brothers quickened their pace and walked home in silence.

                  *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 

         The first face T.K. saw when he walked into his father's apartment was Tai.  He wondered how Tai must've been feeling right now.  Out of all the kids in the group, he and Tai were the closest to Kari.  Tai was probably the only who had any idea of what T.K. was going through.  Of course, T.K.'s relationship with her was a little different than Tai's, but they still each shared a very strong bond with her that nothing could break. As far as T.K. was concerned, not even death.  He walked over to the older boy and hugged him.  After the kind of pain they'd been through, they weren't concerned with things like macho reputations.

         Sora, Joe, and Cody were already there, Mimi wasn't able to come back from New York, and Izzy, Yolie, Ken, and Davis were on their way.  He hugged and exchanged hello's with those who were already there and with the others as they arrived.

         Nancy Takashi announced that dinner was served and they all sat down around the table.  The first mention of Kari was awkward; no one was sure how the others would react.  As they reminisced about her, the girls cried quietly while the guys struggled to maintain composure.  They talked about the great times they had with her and how much joy she brought to their lives.  T.K. painted on that same forced smile he had used the last few years while listening to the others laugh at the funny stories being told about her.

         T.K. had only seen Matt and his father once in the past three years when they came to visit him in America and see what his college dorm was like.  And being for the most part on his own now, he didn't spend much time with his mother.  It felt good to be with all of them again, as a family, but he wasn't sure of how much of his parents kindness to each other was an act.

         He hadn't seen any of his friends since the funeral.  Though he kept in touch with them through the phone, internet, and letters, it just wasn't the same.  In fact, the group, for the most part, had gone their separate ways, and though they would always be like family to each other, they didn't talk or hang out as much as they used to.

         "So T.K.", Joe asked, "how's college going?  Enjoying photography?"

         "Yeah, it's great.  I'm having a lot of fun with it."  Though there wasn't much that made him happy these days, his answer was sincere.  Kari had gotten him interested in photography and it had grown from a hobby to a passion.  He was now majoring in it at a small arts university in California.

         They finished their meal, offered words of support, and promised to keep in touch as the night slowly came to an end.  The table was cleared and the guests all left.  T.K., Matt, and their parents worked together to do the dishes and clean the kitchen.  Nancy and Mr. Ishida started a conversation, obviously trying to get more than one word answers from T.K.  Matt could see how uncomfortable they were making him and covered for him by jumping in and doing enough talking for the both of them.  The two boys had a special relationship and didn't need words to understand each other.  He could always count on Matt to be there for him.

         They finished with the chores and got ready for bed.  Mr. Ishida slept on the sofa while Nancy slept in his bed and the boys shared Matt's room with Matt on the floor.  They went to their separate rooms and the apartment became dark and quiet.  They were soon all asleep.  All except T.K.  Unable to sleep, he threw a pair of jeans on top of his boxers, pulled a T-shirt over his head, and walked out the door.

         Hoping he hadn't woken anyone while leaving, he headed down the street with no real direction.  After all the talk of Kari tonight, he had to get out and clear his head.  He wouldn't have been able to sleep right now even if he had tried.

         Though he had never been quite the same, he found other things to turn his attention to and had been able to move on.  He didn't date and was never romantically interested in anyone, but he had become less gloomy and sullen and managed to lead a relatively normal social life.  He wasn't usually as anti-social as he was feeling tonight, but all this talk of his lost love and being in the city that held so many memories evoked some long forgotten feelings.

         One of the new things he found to drown his negative feelings was alcohol.  Now that he was of the legal age to drink, he secretly spent many long nights at bars or sneaking drinks into his own dorm.  He didn't have a roommate so he was able to maintain his privacy.

         He passed a local pub and couldn't resist the urge to stop in.  As he sat down at the bar and ordered a drink, he thought about his mom and how she would kill him if she knew where he was or what he was doing.  He knew she wasn't completely clueless, but if he were careful, he could keep this little pastime a secret. The bar tender served his drink, a Mike's Hard Lemonade, and T.K. drank it quickly.  He ordered 2 more before moving to hard liquor.  

He thought about the good ol' days when everything was seemingly perfect.  Before they knew about the move, before they knew such terrible things could happen to two people in love.  And though only 15, he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with that girl.  He wondered what she would look like now, if she would've changed much.  One thing he knew for sure was that she would still be absolutely beautiful and perfect in every way.

It wasn't long before he drank himself numb.  This was the goal he always strived to reach.  In this frame of mind, he had no emotions and no pain.  He barely heard the bartender when he said to him, "You should go home son.  I think you've had enough for tonight."

         T.K., never was one to cause trouble, did as he was told and left.  He held his liquor well and wasn't worried about looking like he was in the drunken stupor that he was really in.  He didn't usually get severe hangovers so he wasn't afraid of facing his family in the morning.  He slowly made his way home and quietly entered without disturbing anyone.  He crept past Matt who was snoring lightly and crawled into bed.  He was out cold as soon as his head hit the pillow and didn't wake until morning.

                  *                 *                 *                 *                 *

The rest of T.K. and his mothers trip seemed to fly by, and with mixed feelings, they returned to the U.S.  While T.K. didn't want to leave his friends, he was glad to be going home again.  Not knowing when he would see them next, leaving Matt and his father again was not an easy thing to do.

         Not having a choice, they hugged and said their good-byes.  Matt and Mr. Ishida wished Nancy and T.K. a safe flight and walked them to their terminal.  They watched the plain take off and vanish into the horizon and returned to their apartment.

                  *                 *                 *                 *                 *

         The next few days came and left and were fairly uneventful.  T.K. spent some more time with the others, visited the Kamiya's, but devoted most of his time to staying at Kari's side.  

         It was soon time for T.K. and his mom to return to the U.S.  It was hard to say goodbye to Matt and his Dad, but he had to do it sooner or later.  Nearly everyone came to see him off and remind him that there were always there for him if he needed them.

         They boarded the plane and T.K. watched, as Odaiba grew smaller and more distant as the plane ascended and headed for California.  It was a boring flight and all T.K. wanted now was to be back home in is own bed.

         When the plane landed he went home with his mother for a while, and although she was reluctant to let him go seeing the sadness in his eyes, she called him a cab to take him back to his dorm.

         T.K. had plans of his own though and redirected the driver to take to him a nearby bar.  He was in one of those moods where he needed a drink.  He stayed just long enough to get a good buzz but not rouse the bartender.  He walked out with every intention of going home but before he realized it he had found himself sitting on the stool of another bar.

         He lost all track of time and was finally kicked out when the bar was closing.  He thought he'd half to remember to come to this place; the bartender hadn't kept track of how much he drank and didn't give him any trouble.

         T.K. wandered the streets in a half-drunken stupor, like so many nights before.  He had no destination in mind and didn't care what direction he traveled in.  He eventually found himself on a beach.  Though he hadn't been in here in a long time, this place was very familiar to him.

         He looked up at the nearby boardwalk, which had a surprising amount of people for this time of night.  One person stood out in the crowd for the simple fact that she was alone.  Nearly everyone there was strolling down the boardwalk, hand in hand, arm in arm.  While gazing up at her he nearly fell over.  She looked so familiar, he couldn't believe his eyes, or, then again, maybe it was just the beer. 

         Though he couldn't see her face too clearly, he could see she was slim with chestnut brown hair.  He had to see her, had to get a closer look.  He ran towards the boardwalk, stumbling here and there along the way.

         He made his way to the spot where he had seen the girl, dodging a few couples here and there.  He reached the spot where she was standing just to discover she was gone.  He searched frantically, he was so sure it had been her.  But then again, he'd never had so much to drink in one sitting in his life.  Just when he was about to give up and go home, he caught a flash of that brown hair from the corner of his eye.  He turned and grabbed the girl by the arm and spun her around.  His heart sank, it couldn't have been her, he would've recognized her eyes.  He apologized and the startled and somewhat frightened girl quickly walked away.

         He decided he should probably head home, and as he walked off of the boardwalk, he realized something; though he didn't get a good look at the girl the first time he saw her, he thought the girl he saw up close had different clothes on.  He was almost positive he had looked at two different girls.  Could that first girl actually been who he thought.  He told himself he was crazy for thinking that though, that such a thing could be possible, and went home.

To Be Continued… 

              ***I'll try to get the next (and probably only other) part up soon, but until then, you'll just have to wait and see who it was he thought it saw (like u haven't figured it out) and if it really was her.  Please R&R!


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